1. |
the novice
04:34
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sometimes i miss the kid i was, in grade 5
fresh out of school no worries about life
drink my first beer on an easter night
feel on top of the world when i ran away from cops the first time
i swore to god ill never smoke
tastes like shit and doesnt help at all (laugh)
i swore to god ill never drink alcohol
why would i want to escape reality at all (right?)
so case in point i never wanted to be the kinda person i turned out to be
mental illness school and loneliness kicked off my anxiety
i was so scared of finding an escape out of here
because i knew when i got out id realize, i never really wanted to stay
i was the novice and you were the way to break free
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2. |
in our early days...
02:31
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3. |
blue hairdye
02:28
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i was a lonely lost boy
still too young to understand
how serious the world could be
and how much was out there
for me to experience
for me to learn
so you took me under your hood
and brought me home
being around brought me so much
i didnt understand but i was ready to learn
to fit in with the broken kids, find ones that were like me
you died my hair blue, and that blue died my memories
i was under your spell for countless nights
sex drugs and alcohol to learn to live life
i couldve escaped i didnt want to
you died my hair blue and that made me never wanna go
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4. |
08092019
02:15
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left side right, what way should i go
my pure excitement rambling through the ocean floor
screaming useless songs into the wind
im sure you didnt hear the words, even if is said you did
and my pathetic self will keep
sprinting through every street
no direction, but i know where i wanna go
these streets dont lead to home, they lead to you
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5. |
same
03:12
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and i am scared
of what we are
best friends or
just a way to get some love
and im scared
of what well be
because i know
what type of girl you are
and im scared
that ill just be a phase
a phaseeeeeee
i know what youll say
i know that you want to stay
i know you think this is forever
but i know better, cause they told me the same
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6. |
rinse and repeat
03:51
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and its the same process every time
i miss you and feel lonely until i ask if you have time
we meet and we have fun, drink ourselves out of our mind
but the next day i just always feel like i wanna die
waking up next to you makes me feel like someone, worth your time
but i lose hope when im on the way back home, the busride sucks everytime
all i wanna do when i get home alone is throw up again
i dont understand why i still get nervous
ive been here thousands of times i should know this
but the way to youre house still feels like a maze
through insecuritys and self doubt and this egotistical phase
waking up next to you makes me feel like someone, worth your time
but i lose hope when im on the way back home, the busride sucks everytime
all i wanna do when i get home alone is throw up again and again and again..
so i feel like I'm stuck in this neverending cycle of excitement and being sad
everytime i get to you im happy but when i leave im always down
i dont know if theres another way to say this
but i feel like being with you wont make me happy in the long run
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7. |
shutters
02:56
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ill only pull up my shutters at 10pm
when i know the light is gone anyways
ill only pull down my bedsheets on cold winter days
to feel my body go numb
ill only send you a message when i know you feel hopeless
to assure i get the attention i need
ill only give you my things when i know that you need em
because i want you to feel for having me
ill only give you my love if i know i get something for it
because otherwise what is it worth
ill only sleep in your bed with you if you promise me
to not get up before me
ill only lay down and rest if i know
that youre fine without me
ill only start to feel guilty for the way that i treat you
when you bring it up because i really dont notice anymore
ill only panic when you dont answer your phone because i know the shit you do when you're alone
ill only give you up if you beg me to do because i know the shit you do when you're alone
i know you want me to hate you so you can finally go
ill only start to feel guilty for the way that i treat you when you bring it up, because i really dont notice
anymore
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8. |
solitude.
02:12
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every single morning i awaken to be greeted by guilt
by despair by thoughts, intruding my way of mind
your words hit me where it hurt the most
and in that moment we were both, dissapointed
nothing more than dissappointed in eachothers ways
in our behaviour, in our friendship in our love
on this cold october night i shouldnt have let you
run free from your collar, from your leash
as this time, i was to be held accountable for my actions
held accountable, for what i felt was right
in retrospect i understand why you made me the outcast
but in that moment, all i felt was solitude
held alone in my room, i couldnt bring up the power to move
the only thing that lit me up in cold flames
was the question if life should blossom
the anxiety of resposibility
was i the one to be destined to stay, one way or another?
the one to help grow, the flowers that were yours?
would i want that? i couldnt tell anymore
all i felt was a rush of emotions
all i felt was cold
all i felt was worry
all i felt was solitude
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9. |
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10. |
P.E.
02:52
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i need to refrian
from checking our texts again
cause i know i could never work out
what they meant
my anxiety is taking up space
id need to think rationally
what this all meant
for you, for me, for us
so now
so now
so now
i think im losing touch
now that youre gone, i couldnt imagine you in my room again
id never leave, myself
misunderstanding, miscommunication dont mean anything to me
i just couldn't understand
how toxic i am, how awful i was, how shit i treated you
was it really all my fault?
how toxic you are, how awful you were, how shit you treated me
was it all your fault?
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11. |
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500 miles away from you
locked up in my temporary room
i can only imagine what youre doing
though i know, youre the queen of the disko
what a sad scenery
sad, cold, alone under my bedsheets
hiding from responsibility
only get out of bed to get another beer
500 miles away from you
learning to deal with myself
it hurts to imagine what youre doing
though i know, youre the queen of the disko
my mind wanders off
to make me think of you again
restrain myself from asking
too many questions i cant answer
did you find someone else
are they fucking you all week
do i even have the right
to feel like you should be mine
10 miles away from you
finally spend time in reality
not wasting my energy anymore
though deep down i know, youre the queen of the Disco
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12. |
dislocated
04:25
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hey, how are you
i think its been 3 months since weve talked
ive been wondering what youve been doing
this was one long autumn, dont you think?
lets meet some time, talk a little, see how we click
lets drink and drink and drink, like we used to
lets drink and drink and drink till we forgot
lets drink and drink and smoke even more
so we both don't have to remind ourselves too much
i guess its all good now, your sorrys have come through
i get why you did what you did but not if its right or wrong
ive been kinda lost without you
i guess i needed you to forget…
lets drink and drink and drink, like we used to
lets drink and drink and drink till we forgot
lets drink and drink and smoke even more
so we both don't have to remind ourselves too much
i should've seen you've been lying
i should've seen it in your eyes
i should've felt it in the way you touched me
you were too naive to comply
so atleast youre not alone anymore
i guess ill befriend him for our best
surely ill be able to cope with it
dont worry, id never throw a fit
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13. |
...to never leave.
03:04
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you talk an awful lot about goodbyes
scared of the day youll die
and when you arrive wholl be there
will it be me? will it be him? do you care?
and when youll die who will i turn to
my school friends? some videos on youtube?
in heaven, who will take your hand
will it be me, will it be him, do i care?
its to early for me to say goodbye
im so scared of the day youll die
its early for you to say goodbye
please, dont die
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Social Smoker Bonn, Germany
sometimes acoustic emo hailing from germany
Social Smoker recommends:
i wish shit would stop spinning
by the loner(s)
10/10 lofi record
go to album
Don't Hate Fuck
by attic abasement
if you like the setting of just guitar and vocals, this is the perfect record for u <3
go to albumIf you like Social Smoker, you may also like:
For My Love
by Kesang Marstrand
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 5, 2016
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Delicate, plangent singer-songwriter material that feels like its petals could fall at any moment.
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Sorry I'm So Sensitive
by Bea Stewart
The second EP from Northern Irish singer-songwriter Bea Stewart runs from gentle folk to pillowy pop ballads, all perfectly executed.
go to album
The Room
by Fabiano do Nascimento & Sam Gendel
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 9, 2024
go to album
